Jillian's Sucks

Jillian's is a chain restaurant/bar/pool hall, that consistently serves up crap food and even crappier service.

I've never had a positive experience at Jillian's - ever. First thing - the second you walk in the door you're hit in the face with the smell of a three-day-old urine-soaked cigarette. Either clean the fucking restrooms or install some better ventilation. It's a bar - it's going to smell like smoke. But unless people are pissing on the carpet, the entrance should NOT smell like a portable shit bucket from my parents 1974 pop-up camper. As soon as I walk in the place, a waitress should have one eyeball on me and the other on her push-up bra. The second I land at a table and remove my jacket, said pushed-up waitress should appear like a genie outa thin air, READY to take a drink order. READY means pen and note pad in hand. If you were a fucking genius, you wouldn't be waiting tables. Write the shit down. And when you say you're going to return in "a couple of minutes" to take our food order, make sure you can read the clock. Don't come back in 22 minutes and act like you're busting your ass. If 4 guys show up to eat lunch, make each check separate. Unless you know that two or more of the guys are dating or fucking each other, separate checks should be automatic. If you're in the pool hall business, maintain the equipment. Yes, this does cost money. However, your $3 bottles of domestic beer should more than pay for this upkeep. ALL of the pool cues should have tips on them. NONE of the cues should bow like the hull of a Chris-Craft. DON'T ration the chalk like it's fucking caviar. Stop by Ace Hardware and fix the fucking wobbly tables! Don't even bring the food to the table without silverware AND napkins. EXTRA fucking napkins. Assume that I am a one-armed slob with the shakes - bring a fucking BALE of napkins to the table. And fuck yes I want the change back! The check is $8.95 - I give you $9 and some pocket lint. Bring back the nickle AND the pocket lint - you don't get ALL of that for a tip! And when you're having a slow (read non-existent) lunch rush, don't simply stand around looking dumber. Work on getting rid of the sour piss smell!